How many martinis is the appropriate number to imbibe?

People often ask me "How many martinis is the appropriate number to imbibe?" This is a subjective question contingent upon many variables including body weight, tolerance, presence or absence of food, and of course the quality of the alcohol and the proficiency of the individual mixing them. I am a Hendrick's Gin man myself, though presented with the unavailability of the cucumber garnish, I have been known to rock the Bombay from time to time.

Subjective as this answer may be, there is a general rule of thumb - much like the rules of proportion in landscape architecture. These rules, derived from the writings of Pythagoras (c. 530 BC), the Golden Ratio, The Fibonacci Series, amongst others, support the notion that proportion is inherent in nature. That being said, we need only look to the female form, perhaps nature's greatest creation, for the answer. Martini's are like a woman's breasts, one is not enough and three is too many. At least that's what my friend's father once told me.

Cheers!